Ten Commandments
BCCI’s 10-point diktat for its players
In the grand corridors of cricket governance, where the echoes of leather meeting willow are drowned out by the rustling of frequently modifying policy papers, the Board of Control for Cricket in India, aka BCCI has unleashed its latest diktats: The Ten Commandments of Indian Cricket.
Inspired by the need to do something after the team’s disastrous home series against New Zealand and the forgettable tour against Australia in Australia, to tame modern cricketers, this set of rules — drafted under the watchful eyes of Ajit Agarkar and Gautam Gambhir — reads like a mash-up of a travel guide, a family counseling session, and a drill sergeant’s handbook.
Here’s a breakdown of these edicts and why they may just be the comedic highlight of the season.
Commandment 1: Thou Must Play Domestic Cricket For Selection
Gone are the days when a stellar IPL performance or viral Instagram reels could secure a spot on the national team. Now, cricketers must endure Ranji Trophy mornings, or Vijay Hazare afternoons, where there won’t be any cheerleaders, neither on the stands nor on the trampolines. Imagine Virat Kohli sipping tea in a Surat dressing room, reminiscing about the good old days when selectors showed up to matches with “Trust Me, Bro” instincts.
Commandment 2: Thou Shalt Travel With Thy Team, Not Thy Family
Nothing screams team bonding like being crammed into luxury buses with your fast-bowling unit while your family enjoys a spa day back home. Picture a disgruntled senior cricketer texting his wife: “Hope you’re enjoying the Maldives while I’m sharing armrests with someone who hasn’t wiped his hands after eating vada pav.”
Commandment 3: Thou Shalt Stick to Baggage Limits
“Who brought six bats, 10 boxes of diapers, and three pairs of sneakers?” asks the team manager. Enter the new BCCI policy: any excess baggage — emotional or physical — is now your financial responsibility. Cricketers who once carried a mini-gym and sneaked in their family’s suitcases in their luggage will now have to choose between a protein shaker and a pair of lucky socks. Minimalism is in, and cricket gear Tetris is the new team-building exercise.
Commandment 4: Thou Shalt Not Bring Thy Personal Staff
No chefs, no assistants, no personal masseuses. The BCCI wants you to be a self-sufficient warrior on tour, not the Maharaja of My-Own-Entourage. Imagine Virat Kohli with a portable grill in his kit bag, sneaking into the hotel’s kitchen to recreate his favorite quinoa recipe. Personal security is out, but hey, there’s always the team’s burly fitness trainer who can double as a bouncer.
Commandment 5: Thou Must Attend All Full Practice Sessions
In other words, no skipping nets to film Instagram reels or perfecting your Fortnite or FIFA skills. If practice sessions were a school class, missing one would get you detention. Picture a sheepish cricketer explaining to the coach: “Sorry, sir, I had to update my YouTube channel. The fans were waiting for my tutorial on how to do read the Australian pitces.”
Commandment 6: Thou Shalt Not Indulge In Personal Endorsement Shoots
Is YouTube content creation or Instagram reels considered personal endorsement? That’s the existential question every cricketer-turned-vlogger must now ask. If Rohit Sharma films a behind-the-scenes “Day in the Life” vlog, will the team management send him to the dressing room naughty corner? Asking for a friend… and 1.2 million subscribers.
Commandment 7: Thou Shalt Accept Family Time Limits
Long tours? 14 days. Short tours? Seven days. That’s all the family time you get. It’s a heartwarming moment when a cricketer FaceTimes his kids from halfway around the world, only to hear: “Dad, who are you again?” Rumor has it, families are lobbying for a 15th-day amendment. Until then, the team bus is your new family.
Commandment 8: Thou Must Attend All Official BCCI Events
Miss a BCCI awards night, and you might as well forfeit your next five match fees. If these events came with bingo cards, “Clap for a speech that embarrassed you” and “Smile at a bureaucrat who doesn't; remember youe name and mistook you for the physio” would be guaranteed squares.
Commandment 9: Thou Shalt Stay With Thy Team Until the Tour Is Over
No sneaky escapes to Mauritius or Miami, no impromptu family reunions. If the team’s schedule says “Stay put,” you stay put. Picture a cricketer subtly hinting at an injury to catch an early flight home, only to be told: “Nice try. Here’s an ice pack. Back to nets tomorrow.”
Commandment 10: Thou Shalt Ship Thy Equipment for Upkeep Together
Gone are the days of cricket bags traveling like VIP guests. Now, it’s all about economy-class bulk courier services. Imagine a cricketer unboxing his kit, only to find a stowaway note: “Your bat missed the flight, but here’s a complimentary airport sandwich.”
Thou Shalt Obey, Or Else…
If you break any of these commandments, prepare to face the wrath ofGambhir and Agarkar err..BCCI — from reduced match fees to being banned from the IPL. Yes, even the tantalizing glitz of the IPL is held hostage by these rules. Somewhere, a rookie cricketer is sweating bullets as he rereads the fine print. “Wait, does breaking Commandment 6 mean no more endorsement deals with my favorite energy drink?”
The Gospel According to Gambhir
Somewhere in this labyrinth of policies lies the BCCI’s grand vision of discipline and unity. While it may seem like the Ten Commandments were written with a touch of Monty Python humor, one can’t deny their potential to bring order to chaos. Or at least provide enough material for a Netflix mockumentary titled Behind the Boundary Lines.
Until then, remember: Obey the rules, cherish your 14 days of family time, and whatever you do, don’t forget to ship your equipment.
The BCCI is watching. Always.
